First of all, yay to my two readers for giving input! Woo-hoo!
Rebecca, thank you for your time-tested advice to AVOID STRESSING OUT! This is so my goal: to change and progress, but not to be obsessed about or depressed by it (or lack of it). I so dig your idea of adding one responsibility and/or privilege at each birthday. Putting it in the birthday card is EVEN BETTER! That'll make it so super cool! I'm so going to do that!
R, thanks for commiserating with me :) I like the idea of a helper a day...that way, I could intro or try out different "chores" with each kid to find out what's doable...and get some quality time with each...maybe letting each help with meal prep when it's his/her day...just thinking out loud...lots of possibilities!
Well, I did follow the routine today, and it somehow brought more...peace (?) to our home...not that our home is not peaceful (ha!)...but there was this calm after we finished the routine...the kids calmly played by themselves until lunch! It was amazing! Okay, so there was only about an hour from the end of the routine to lunch, but still!
I cleared out the sink the night before. That does not mean I washed every dish, though :) I put what I could in the dishwasher and set the rest next to the sink to be washed this morning.
This AM hub was home for awhile, so he set out the kids' "first breakfast" (sorry, I'm reading the Lord of the Rings right now). I got up, drank my first cup o'joe, and took my time making eggs. The kids were at that point done with first bfast and the table looked it. While the eggs were cooking, I just took all books and crayons and toys off the table, leaving the dirty dishes for Snuggie. We ate leisurely and as they finished, they were allowed to leave and play. When all had finished, I called Snuggie to put all the dishes in the sink (after I had "organized" them and placed them at the edge of the table, ha!). When she was done, Sharkbait was up to wipe down the table. I was tempted to do it for him, but instead, just directed him crumb by crumb...he did fine, too. SweetSong loves using our cordless handvac! She vacuumed up around the table after I wiped up the sticky jelly from first breakfast, and voila! DONE!
We went through the rest of the routine...I simply called each one when I needed him/her, whether for brushing teeth or working on the AWANA verse.
I was glad we didn't go to speech therapy today (Sharkbait has a little cold). It allowed for a nice, leisurely morning that I feel was a success :)
But don't worry, I am not going to make this day the standard (that's just setting myself up for failure!). I'm just going to take it a day at a time. This resolve feels like freedom :)
Friday, February 19, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Why the Morning Routine is NOT Working
I know why it's not working:
For starters, I cannot start my day without sitting in my glider rocking chair with a cup of creamy hot coffee. I have to sit there and not be disturbed until the caffeine has started its course throughout my limbs, reviving this still sleepy mommy. I cannot move until the first cup is completely gone.
That takes time.
By the time I am ready to start my day, the kids have already eaten the small breakfast I've set for them (typically toast or cereal), and are already coloring at the table, playing with toys in their bedrooms, or sitting on the couch "reading" books. Scattered. Like autumn leaves in the wind.
It's not easy to bring them back to the messy table for clean up time.
Even if I did get them to help, I have to micro-manage each step because they don't know how to do their chores. So, while I'm directing Snuggie to clear the table, so that it can be wiped down, the other two wander back to whatever they were doing before I called them. When Snuggie does attempt to put the dishes in the sink, I cringe, because the sink is still full from dishes from the night before! Don't let the breakfast dishes fall, little one! Here, just let me do it.
And that's just the first few events that are listed on our routine.
I know what I need to do:
1. At the very least, clear out the kitchen sink the night before, so that the breakfast dishes can be safely tossed in there the next day.
2. Have the kids practice their skills by directing them to clear and clean the dinner table, when I have Hub there to help.
3. Allow for playtimes while I finish my coffee. No way I'm giving that up!
4. Adjust my expectations. It'll take a while to teach myself and my kids how to do all these new tasks. Change my goal from perfection to progress.
5. Start tomorrow. I'm a perfectionist, and when things don't go "right" right away, I tend to label it a failure and hide from it until it bothers me so much that I have to think it through. That's where I'm at right now :)
If I don't start tomorrow, when will I?
If I don't post about it tomorrow, you (two readers) have permission to write something snarky, er, I mean, exhortation-like to *encourage* me in the right direction.
Sweet.
For starters, I cannot start my day without sitting in my glider rocking chair with a cup of creamy hot coffee. I have to sit there and not be disturbed until the caffeine has started its course throughout my limbs, reviving this still sleepy mommy. I cannot move until the first cup is completely gone.
That takes time.
By the time I am ready to start my day, the kids have already eaten the small breakfast I've set for them (typically toast or cereal), and are already coloring at the table, playing with toys in their bedrooms, or sitting on the couch "reading" books. Scattered. Like autumn leaves in the wind.
It's not easy to bring them back to the messy table for clean up time.
Even if I did get them to help, I have to micro-manage each step because they don't know how to do their chores. So, while I'm directing Snuggie to clear the table, so that it can be wiped down, the other two wander back to whatever they were doing before I called them. When Snuggie does attempt to put the dishes in the sink, I cringe, because the sink is still full from dishes from the night before! Don't let the breakfast dishes fall, little one! Here, just let me do it.
And that's just the first few events that are listed on our routine.
I know what I need to do:
1. At the very least, clear out the kitchen sink the night before, so that the breakfast dishes can be safely tossed in there the next day.
2. Have the kids practice their skills by directing them to clear and clean the dinner table, when I have Hub there to help.
3. Allow for playtimes while I finish my coffee. No way I'm giving that up!
4. Adjust my expectations. It'll take a while to teach myself and my kids how to do all these new tasks. Change my goal from perfection to progress.
5. Start tomorrow. I'm a perfectionist, and when things don't go "right" right away, I tend to label it a failure and hide from it until it bothers me so much that I have to think it through. That's where I'm at right now :)
If I don't start tomorrow, when will I?
If I don't post about it tomorrow, you (two readers) have permission to write something snarky, er, I mean, exhortation-like to *encourage* me in the right direction.
Sweet.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Is it tacky?
Is it tacky to reflect on Valentine's Day two days later?
Oh, well. I'm going to do it, anyways.
A week or so ago, I was actually shopping alone (woo-hoo!). I stopped at the PX and picked up some small Valentine's gifts for the kiddies. For the girls, I bought these little bracelets that were made in China. Is that love or what? The girls oohed and aahed, and wore their gifts to church.
For Sharkbait, I bought (of course), Nemo stickers. They ended up in a big sticker bunch by the end of the day, after being stuck and re-stuck to a clipboard, Sharkbait's face, and the wall...good thing I only spent a dollar on them.
For hub, I got one of those cards that makes music; he loves those. Like I said, he's musically-inclined. He speaks and thinks and feels in music, even when the music issues from cheesy cards from Walmart!
I asked for chocolate for Valentine's. I specified the kind, so I wouldn't get stuck with Russell Stover's again. I was happy :)
We babysat our friends' two children overnight, since the husband is deploying soon. We also invited over our friends with the three kids. And the little girl from across the street who comes to church with us. Yep, we spent our Valentine's night with two friends, nine children under the age of seven, and Settlers of Catan. It was GREAT!
This Valentine's, I have been reminded of the joy that comes from giving little gifts to my family that make them smile, even if the gift lasts no more than one day.
Oh, well. I'm going to do it, anyways.
A week or so ago, I was actually shopping alone (woo-hoo!). I stopped at the PX and picked up some small Valentine's gifts for the kiddies. For the girls, I bought these little bracelets that were made in China. Is that love or what? The girls oohed and aahed, and wore their gifts to church.
For Sharkbait, I bought (of course), Nemo stickers. They ended up in a big sticker bunch by the end of the day, after being stuck and re-stuck to a clipboard, Sharkbait's face, and the wall...good thing I only spent a dollar on them.
For hub, I got one of those cards that makes music; he loves those. Like I said, he's musically-inclined. He speaks and thinks and feels in music, even when the music issues from cheesy cards from Walmart!
I asked for chocolate for Valentine's. I specified the kind, so I wouldn't get stuck with Russell Stover's again. I was happy :)
We babysat our friends' two children overnight, since the husband is deploying soon. We also invited over our friends with the three kids. And the little girl from across the street who comes to church with us. Yep, we spent our Valentine's night with two friends, nine children under the age of seven, and Settlers of Catan. It was GREAT!
This Valentine's, I have been reminded of the joy that comes from giving little gifts to my family that make them smile, even if the gift lasts no more than one day.
I have learned that I love peace and quiet as much as I love a full house! (That's saying a lot, since I'm extremely extroverted! But really, nine kids? Under the age of seven? Five of them overnight? All I can say is: WE SURVIVED!!!)
I'm learning that love happens in the experiences, in the daily things, like bracelets and stickers and slumber parties. Tacky or not, reflecting on LOVE is always a good idea :)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Snuggie
I just tagged all my posts and realized I have no posts featuring Snuggie! So, here is a bunch of my favorite pictures from her first year or so of life, though she's 2 1/2 now!
*Chunky monkey (one-month old)
* My favorite mommy-n-me
* My favorite mommy-n-me
*Tee-hee-hee!
*Baby Einstein!
*Always wanting to do what Big Bro and Sis do!
*Cutie pie fairy baby
Friday, February 12, 2010
Weekly Report, 2/8-12/10
Well, if nothing else, we've been having loads of fun reading picture books from the library. This week's books include Strega Nona by Tomie de Paola, Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey and Dory Story by Jerry Pallotta. I feel that the kids are actually starting to listen, starting to put the words that they hear into some sort of order...syncing them up with pictures painted on the page...starting to make sense of the plot...hopefully gaining appreciation for the beauty of the written and illustrated story!
Sharkbait has resigned himself to doing one phonics page with me :)
He learned the "-sh-", the "-ch-", and the "wh-" sounds.
AWANA was cancelled this week due to the "snow". I was so happy, though, that because of the new morning routine, we actually reviewed the verses daily this week!
Sharkbait has also become quite the artist. He draws scene upon scene from Finding Nemo, like this:
The picture in his book are of the moonfish and Marlin. Here's a closeup of his art:
And this is his interpretation of the angler fish (you can see the address written on the diver's mask worn by the fish), Dory and Marlin:
That's not anything I'd taught him; he just taught himself :)
Oh, well, I was, at any rate, quite impressed!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
New Family Names
I'm inspired by Rebecca's quest to rename her family members for her blog (highmaintenanceaspirations). I used to use my kids' real names...then, I changed it to their first initials...makes it easier to type, I guess, but not that, um, interesting!
Therefore,
My son shall henceforth be called Sharkbait, after his obsession, sea creatures, and one of his favorite movie characters, Nemo.
And my younger daughter shall be called Snuggie, because she's snuggly. Incidently, I got a pink Snuggie for Christmas! (Please ignore her 80s looking hair. I have no clue what's up with that.)
Hmmm, I don't think I'll name hubby...but if I did name him, I'd dub him Soundbyte, or something like that, since he's musically inclined...
And me, I'm just *Sunny* :)
Therefore,
My son shall henceforth be called Sharkbait, after his obsession, sea creatures, and one of his favorite movie characters, Nemo.
My elder daughter shall be named SweetSong, because she has started singing praise songs with daddy playing on the guitar. I also caught her singing her own melody one day...something like "shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, like Jesus, like God"...very cute. Very goofy, too!
And my younger daughter shall be called Snuggie, because she's snuggly. Incidently, I got a pink Snuggie for Christmas! (Please ignore her 80s looking hair. I have no clue what's up with that.)
Hmmm, I don't think I'll name hubby...but if I did name him, I'd dub him Soundbyte, or something like that, since he's musically inclined...
And me, I'm just *Sunny* :)
Morning Routine
One advantage to J's Asperger's is that he thrives on routines. This is good because I do not. I made up a "bedtime routine" to help cut down on unnecessary bedtime whack-a-mole games (one kid pops out of bed, gets put back, next kid pops out, etc.). J holds us to the routine! He will cry if we try to put his pj's on before he brushes his teeth, or if we try to offer a sip of water before Bible time!
It's been so successful, in fact, that I've instituted a morning routine.
This is a lot harder to follow through on, though, because J is not 100% excited about it, mostly because I included *gasp* chores!!! He is responsible for wiping the breakfast table after H clears it and before V vacuums the floor around it. But I'm gonna stick to it!!! I'm determined!
Our morning routine:
*wake up.
*eat breakfast.
*clean up the kitchen (chores listed above).
*make bed.
*brush teeth.
*put on clothes (including shorts for J, since he doesn't like to wear them!).
*review AWANA verses.
Veteran moms have told me often step-by-step is the way to go, but like a fool, I keep on attempting to change the whole system in one fell swoop. I'm finding though *sigh*, that they're right. It's all about instituting change one step at a time...
We'll stick with the bedtime and morning routines for now. After we get settled in our new place, I'm going to do workboxes to bring routine to our school times.
:)
It's been so successful, in fact, that I've instituted a morning routine.
This is a lot harder to follow through on, though, because J is not 100% excited about it, mostly because I included *gasp* chores!!! He is responsible for wiping the breakfast table after H clears it and before V vacuums the floor around it. But I'm gonna stick to it!!! I'm determined!
Our morning routine:
*wake up.
*eat breakfast.
*clean up the kitchen (chores listed above).
*make bed.
*brush teeth.
*put on clothes (including shorts for J, since he doesn't like to wear them!).
*review AWANA verses.
Veteran moms have told me often step-by-step is the way to go, but like a fool, I keep on attempting to change the whole system in one fell swoop. I'm finding though *sigh*, that they're right. It's all about instituting change one step at a time...
We'll stick with the bedtime and morning routines for now. After we get settled in our new place, I'm going to do workboxes to bring routine to our school times.
:)
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