First of all, yay to my two readers for giving input! Woo-hoo!
Rebecca, thank you for your time-tested advice to AVOID STRESSING OUT! This is so my goal: to change and progress, but not to be obsessed about or depressed by it (or lack of it). I so dig your idea of adding one responsibility and/or privilege at each birthday. Putting it in the birthday card is EVEN BETTER! That'll make it so super cool! I'm so going to do that!
R, thanks for commiserating with me :) I like the idea of a helper a day...that way, I could intro or try out different "chores" with each kid to find out what's doable...and get some quality time with each...maybe letting each help with meal prep when it's his/her day...just thinking out loud...lots of possibilities!
Well, I did follow the routine today, and it somehow brought more...peace (?) to our home...not that our home is not peaceful (ha!)...but there was this calm after we finished the routine...the kids calmly played by themselves until lunch! It was amazing! Okay, so there was only about an hour from the end of the routine to lunch, but still!
I cleared out the sink the night before. That does not mean I washed every dish, though :) I put what I could in the dishwasher and set the rest next to the sink to be washed this morning.
This AM hub was home for awhile, so he set out the kids' "first breakfast" (sorry, I'm reading the Lord of the Rings right now). I got up, drank my first cup o'joe, and took my time making eggs. The kids were at that point done with first bfast and the table looked it. While the eggs were cooking, I just took all books and crayons and toys off the table, leaving the dirty dishes for Snuggie. We ate leisurely and as they finished, they were allowed to leave and play. When all had finished, I called Snuggie to put all the dishes in the sink (after I had "organized" them and placed them at the edge of the table, ha!). When she was done, Sharkbait was up to wipe down the table. I was tempted to do it for him, but instead, just directed him crumb by crumb...he did fine, too. SweetSong loves using our cordless handvac! She vacuumed up around the table after I wiped up the sticky jelly from first breakfast, and voila! DONE!
We went through the rest of the routine...I simply called each one when I needed him/her, whether for brushing teeth or working on the AWANA verse.
I was glad we didn't go to speech therapy today (Sharkbait has a little cold). It allowed for a nice, leisurely morning that I feel was a success :)
But don't worry, I am not going to make this day the standard (that's just setting myself up for failure!). I'm just going to take it a day at a time. This resolve feels like freedom :)
Showing posts with label routines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label routines. Show all posts
Friday, February 19, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Why the Morning Routine is NOT Working
I know why it's not working:
For starters, I cannot start my day without sitting in my glider rocking chair with a cup of creamy hot coffee. I have to sit there and not be disturbed until the caffeine has started its course throughout my limbs, reviving this still sleepy mommy. I cannot move until the first cup is completely gone.
That takes time.
By the time I am ready to start my day, the kids have already eaten the small breakfast I've set for them (typically toast or cereal), and are already coloring at the table, playing with toys in their bedrooms, or sitting on the couch "reading" books. Scattered. Like autumn leaves in the wind.
It's not easy to bring them back to the messy table for clean up time.
Even if I did get them to help, I have to micro-manage each step because they don't know how to do their chores. So, while I'm directing Snuggie to clear the table, so that it can be wiped down, the other two wander back to whatever they were doing before I called them. When Snuggie does attempt to put the dishes in the sink, I cringe, because the sink is still full from dishes from the night before! Don't let the breakfast dishes fall, little one! Here, just let me do it.
And that's just the first few events that are listed on our routine.
I know what I need to do:
1. At the very least, clear out the kitchen sink the night before, so that the breakfast dishes can be safely tossed in there the next day.
2. Have the kids practice their skills by directing them to clear and clean the dinner table, when I have Hub there to help.
3. Allow for playtimes while I finish my coffee. No way I'm giving that up!
4. Adjust my expectations. It'll take a while to teach myself and my kids how to do all these new tasks. Change my goal from perfection to progress.
5. Start tomorrow. I'm a perfectionist, and when things don't go "right" right away, I tend to label it a failure and hide from it until it bothers me so much that I have to think it through. That's where I'm at right now :)
If I don't start tomorrow, when will I?
If I don't post about it tomorrow, you (two readers) have permission to write something snarky, er, I mean, exhortation-like to *encourage* me in the right direction.
Sweet.
For starters, I cannot start my day without sitting in my glider rocking chair with a cup of creamy hot coffee. I have to sit there and not be disturbed until the caffeine has started its course throughout my limbs, reviving this still sleepy mommy. I cannot move until the first cup is completely gone.
That takes time.
By the time I am ready to start my day, the kids have already eaten the small breakfast I've set for them (typically toast or cereal), and are already coloring at the table, playing with toys in their bedrooms, or sitting on the couch "reading" books. Scattered. Like autumn leaves in the wind.
It's not easy to bring them back to the messy table for clean up time.
Even if I did get them to help, I have to micro-manage each step because they don't know how to do their chores. So, while I'm directing Snuggie to clear the table, so that it can be wiped down, the other two wander back to whatever they were doing before I called them. When Snuggie does attempt to put the dishes in the sink, I cringe, because the sink is still full from dishes from the night before! Don't let the breakfast dishes fall, little one! Here, just let me do it.
And that's just the first few events that are listed on our routine.
I know what I need to do:
1. At the very least, clear out the kitchen sink the night before, so that the breakfast dishes can be safely tossed in there the next day.
2. Have the kids practice their skills by directing them to clear and clean the dinner table, when I have Hub there to help.
3. Allow for playtimes while I finish my coffee. No way I'm giving that up!
4. Adjust my expectations. It'll take a while to teach myself and my kids how to do all these new tasks. Change my goal from perfection to progress.
5. Start tomorrow. I'm a perfectionist, and when things don't go "right" right away, I tend to label it a failure and hide from it until it bothers me so much that I have to think it through. That's where I'm at right now :)
If I don't start tomorrow, when will I?
If I don't post about it tomorrow, you (two readers) have permission to write something snarky, er, I mean, exhortation-like to *encourage* me in the right direction.
Sweet.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Morning Routine
One advantage to J's Asperger's is that he thrives on routines. This is good because I do not. I made up a "bedtime routine" to help cut down on unnecessary bedtime whack-a-mole games (one kid pops out of bed, gets put back, next kid pops out, etc.). J holds us to the routine! He will cry if we try to put his pj's on before he brushes his teeth, or if we try to offer a sip of water before Bible time!
It's been so successful, in fact, that I've instituted a morning routine.
This is a lot harder to follow through on, though, because J is not 100% excited about it, mostly because I included *gasp* chores!!! He is responsible for wiping the breakfast table after H clears it and before V vacuums the floor around it. But I'm gonna stick to it!!! I'm determined!
Our morning routine:
*wake up.
*eat breakfast.
*clean up the kitchen (chores listed above).
*make bed.
*brush teeth.
*put on clothes (including shorts for J, since he doesn't like to wear them!).
*review AWANA verses.
Veteran moms have told me often step-by-step is the way to go, but like a fool, I keep on attempting to change the whole system in one fell swoop. I'm finding though *sigh*, that they're right. It's all about instituting change one step at a time...
We'll stick with the bedtime and morning routines for now. After we get settled in our new place, I'm going to do workboxes to bring routine to our school times.
:)
It's been so successful, in fact, that I've instituted a morning routine.
This is a lot harder to follow through on, though, because J is not 100% excited about it, mostly because I included *gasp* chores!!! He is responsible for wiping the breakfast table after H clears it and before V vacuums the floor around it. But I'm gonna stick to it!!! I'm determined!
Our morning routine:
*wake up.
*eat breakfast.
*clean up the kitchen (chores listed above).
*make bed.
*brush teeth.
*put on clothes (including shorts for J, since he doesn't like to wear them!).
*review AWANA verses.
Veteran moms have told me often step-by-step is the way to go, but like a fool, I keep on attempting to change the whole system in one fell swoop. I'm finding though *sigh*, that they're right. It's all about instituting change one step at a time...
We'll stick with the bedtime and morning routines for now. After we get settled in our new place, I'm going to do workboxes to bring routine to our school times.
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)